AAR: June 1, 2013 - Planetfall

Smarting from their last beat-down, the forces of the Ork Horde find a nice defenseless agri-world to plunder.  All was going well for a few days, but then a hideous buzzing filled the skies!  The few humans that remained alive weep for mercy, but none is likely to be forthcoming...  The Tyranids have arrived!  This really annoys the Orks and they gear up to defend their spoils.

Annihilation with short edges. 

5x6 table.  A lush area that is filled with wild game and dense foliage.

The concentration of bio-mass has clearly lured the hungry Tyranids to this spot to make their planetfall.

Orks versus Tyranids with 986 point limit.

Chainsawz Ladz: 
HQ - MegaWarboss Chainsaw
HQ - Big Mek (Shock attack gun, Ammo runt)
Troops -9x Gretchin (Runtherd)
Troops - 30x Boyz (Nob with power claw)
Troops - 30x Boyz (Nob with power claw)
Heavy -3x Killa Kanz

"Hay!  We iz gonna' wrek diz place!  Gitz yer own planet!"

Hive Fleet Chimera
HQ - Hive Tyrant
Troops - 22x Genestealers
Troops - 30x Hormagaunts
Troops - 4x Warriors (1x Prime)
Fast Attack - 3x Raveners

"Consume!!!"

Dark Purist wins the initial roll and chooses the blue short edge.

With short edges, both sides have a lot of strategic depth to them.

The Genestealers stealthily infiltrate  into the no-mans-land before the battle begins while the Raveners silently burrow underground towards the fiercely-beating Orkish heart-analogs they can detect...

The Tyranid forces focus on the upper half of their side, with the Warriors behind a huge swarm of salivating Genestealers.

The Hive Tyrant exerts its dominance over the nearby Hormagaunts with thoughtless ease, while studying the fungal-based bio-morphs on the opposite side of the field...

Two mobs of boys face off against the squeeing aliens.  Warboss Chainsaw is uncertain - having never faced this particular type of enemy before.

"Oh whal!  How 'ard kan dey be?"

The Big Mek and his 'Killa Kanz Kreationz' cover their lower flank.

Let the carnage begin!

The Genestealers and Hormagaunts run at top speed towards the greenskins.

The Warriors and the Hive Tyrant on the other hand, move more circumspectly - taking the measure of this foolish and pointless opposition.

A few attacks test outwards:

• The Warriors shoot at M2, but are out of range.
• The Hive Tyrant attacks with a heavy venom spray, but the Orks don't even sneeze at it.

All of the orks remain where they are, content to allow the alien to come to them.  Instead, all of them open fire to welcome these newcomers in a very proper display of Orkish etiquette.

"Keep yer pinkie up off'n the gripz, ladz!  Dat's how to look proppa fancy 'nd respekt-a-bull!"

Noisesome attacks are made:

• Mobs 1 and 2 shoot at the Genestealers, but only a single alien falls.
• The Killa Kanz shoot into the mob of Hormagaunts and blow one of them to bitz.
• The Big Mek unloads some shrieking grot from his Shokk Attack Cannon and 3 more of the Hormagaunts are turned into splashes of grimace-inducing goo.

The Genestealers charge into the tasty-looking Orks of Mob2.

The Hormagaunts skitter over the top of the central hill.

The Hive Tyrant and the Warriors continue their leisurely advance towards what promises to be a succulent feed...

With a sharp increase of roars they attack:

• The Warriors attack Mob2 but do no lasting harm.
• The Hive Tyrant shoots into the Gretchin and the Big Mek who pointlessly wasted energy by deconstructing some of their number.  A single grot dies - the rest stand strong.
• Then the hammer falls on Mob2...  A stunning 25 of the ladz are reduced to twitching limbs, cutlets, ribs, and steaks (5.99/lb - today only!).  The Genestealers lose 4 of their own number (likely to over-eating).  The nob of the ork ladz is wounded as well; his iron jaw falling down and slicing open both of his own feet as he flees before the implacable alien menace.  "Me not beleaf it!"

The forces of the Orks rally with a swelling battle-cry of WAAAGH!!!

Lead by their fearless leader, MegaWarboss Chainsaw, the only mob left on the field swings northward to gain vengeance for the fallen.

The ragged remnants of Mob2, run for cover (and for new uniforms - their current ones being mysteriously stained all of the sudden).

The greenskin counter-attack:

• Mob2 pointlessly fires their sluggas at the Genestealers.
• The Killa Kans open fire on the Hormagaunts, but miss very badly as their grot pilots gibber in fear at the red mist hovering over that part of the battlefield.
• The Big Mek spits a gob of fungus-chew into the dirt and takes aim of the Hormagaunts as well.  His aim is less-than-on-target and he only manages to take one of them down.
• Then a furious Warboss Chainsaw slams into the Genestealers.  7 of the orks are harvested, but the MegaWarboss slaughters all of the aliens who are picking their teeth in a fine display of greenskin brutality.

With the heavy scent of blood on the wind, it is little wonder that the Raveners burst from the ground to sample some of the sticky wares this battlefield has to offer!  They are deep behind the Ork line of battle and there are many hoots of consternation at their appearance.

The Hormagaunts and the Hive Tyrant both sweep forward to harvest the last large group of Orks...

The awful blood-letting continues:

• Warriors attack Mob2 and kill 3 of the ladz.
• The Hive Tyrant attacks Mob2 and wounds their nob.  It has adjusted the vile stew in its venom sacks and this time the combined neuron-toxin and physic attack leaves all of Mob2 with a bad case of seizures and blinding headaches.  Their ability to shoot or fight is lowered to that of newly spawned grot!  Warboss Chainsaw groans with the shame of it...
• The Hormagaunt sense weakness and swarm to take advantage of it.  Mob1 loses 17 ladz and Warboss Chainsaw is wounded as well.  They lose a paltry 3 of their breed in the assault.
• Then the Hive Tyrant steps in to partake of the glory of battle and it's juicy spoils!  3 more ladz fall, but the mighty beast takes three wounds from an enraged Warboss.  Both Mob1 and the Hive Tyrant flee from the brutal onslaught of each other.

Chainsaw knows his forces are beaten (if not outright eaten).  He calls out for a full-scale retreat and abandons the field.

Parting attacks are made:

• Mob1 shoots at the Hormagaunts to no avail.
• The Killa Kanz shoot at the rabid-looking Raveners and manage to down one of the beasts.
• The Big Mek BZAPPs one of the Raveners as well.

Chainsaw concedes and the battle is over!

Dark Purist Wins!  Superior genetic foundation carries the frightful Tyranids to victory.  The Orks will be licking their wounds for quite while after this beat-down!  The chitinous aliens are simply licking their chops...

"So fresh...  So tasty..."

"Wowwie!  Dat hurtz pretty bad!  Hoo!"