AAR: December 8, 2012 - The Only Way To Be Sure

The desert winds howl on this forlorn planet.  Warboss Chainsaw is here because he heard that the shifting sands had uncovered a shrine to Mork. When he arrives, he is enraged to discover that the Storm Heralds heard the same rumor and they have brought a tactical nuke in order to wipe it from the face of the universe.  Being cunning as he is brutal, the Ork leader thinks that the weapon of mass destruction could be put to better use in the middle of a hive city... all he has to do is snip off the command antenna and it's all his!  The space marines are determined to verify that the evil shrine is the real one, teleport out, and then detonate the nuke from orbit.  Will the nuke be used for good or evil?  Find out by reading about this battle for the bomb!

Capture and Control with 2 objectives and corners.

5x6 table.  A dry and barren patch of billowing sand.  Some rocks have been scoured free of the sands, but nothing is alive here.  Moving up or down from the rocks will be considered difficult.

The space marines have drop-shipped a A13 bunker with extra-wide fire points.  It can hold 12 models.  The fence is considered difficult terrain.

The two objectives are clear: the shrine and the shipping container that holds the armed nuke.

Orks versus Space Marines with 1934 point limit.

Chainsawz Ladz: 
HQ - Mega-Warboss Chainsaw (Master of the WAAAGH!)
HQ - Big Mek (Shokk attack gun) 
Elites - 12x Kommandoz (Nob with power claw, 2x Rokkit)
Elites - 15x Tank Bustaz
Troops - 15x Gretchin (Runtherd)
Troops - 30x Boyz (Nob with power claw)
Troops - 30x Boyz (Nob with power claw)
Troops - Deffdread (2x Close-combat arms)
Heavy Support - 3x Lobba gunz (4x Extra crew, Runtherd, 3x Ammo runts)
Heavy Support - 8x Flash Gitz (Kaptain Krunktoof, Painboy, Cyborks, Blastas, Shootier)

"Datza nice shiny, ya gotz dere... it'd be a shame if'n sumfin' happen'd ta it..."

Dark Purifiers
HQ - Antonidus Aurelius (Chapter master, Master-crafted power sword)
HQ - Ambrose Praetorius (Chaplain, Jump pack, Master-crafted combi-flamer, Hellfire boltgun rounds)
Elites - 10x Terminators (2x Cyclone missile launchers, 2x Chain-fists, Power fists)
Troops - 10x Tactical Marines (Flamer, Missile launcher)
Troops - 10x Tactical Marines (Flamer, Heavy bolter)
Troops - 8x Scouts with Sgt. Immortus (Missile launcher, Sniper rifles)
Fast Attack - 5x Vanguard Veterans (Jump packs, Bolt pistols, Lightning claws)
Heavy Support - Land Raider Redeemer (Multi-melta)

"We shall fertilize this barren world with Ork remains!"

The Dark Purist wins the initial roll and will go first.

The two objectives are both in the far corners of each teams starting area.

It's going to be a long slog for everyone...

The space marines are feeling confident that the rabble of greenskins will be unable to resist the atomic fury of their bomb.  All they must do is verify that the target is correct and they can scourge this area clean.

Each of the four Tactical Squads takes cover behind terrain, the objective, or the bunker.

The Land Raider tank, Ambrose Praetorius, and the Vanguard Veterans are on the east flank.

The mighty Terminators and Antonidus Aurelius cover the south flank.  The chapter master has prepared both the Land Raider and the Terminators to act as scoring units for this battle using his "Unyielding Anvil" lecture.

The Snipers are led by Sgt. Immortus to the rocks in the south-western quarter, where they hope to pick off a few ork trophies.

The ork forces seem to cover the area of their corner like a hive of green ants has been kicked over!

The Tank Bustaz and Mob1 cover the north flank.

The Flash Gitz  and Mob2 (lead by Mega-Warboss Chainsaw) take the west flank.

The Deffdread is in the center, acting as a tactical reserve to either of the two flanks.

The Lobbaz, Gretchin, and the Big Mek all settle in for a nice game of "Shoot-Da-'umie".  The Gretchin have secured the ork objective.

The grudge-match begins!

Tactical Squad1 embarks into the bunker.

The Vanguard Veterans and Chaplain enter the waiting Land Raider.

The tank roars forward, sending up a twin spray of sand behind its treads!

Tactical Squad3 moves towards the middle of the battlefield.

The Terminators move towards the ork's western flank.

The first shots fired in anger for this battle have the following effects:

• The Chapter Master wastes no time in calling in an orbital strike on the tightly packed orks.  He aims for the Lobbaz, but the beam scatters south badly.  It lands a hit on the edge of the forces of Mob1 and 2 ladz are vaporized.
• The Land Raider shoots at the Tank Bustaz, but it is just out of range.
• Both the Snipers and the Terminators open fire on the Flash Gitz.  2 Gitz die and another is wounded.  Kaptain Krumptoof takes a nasty wound from the eagle-eyed sniper of Sgt. Immortus.

Mega-Warboss Chainsaw is a bit nervous now that he sees that bright red container that his Big Mek assures him is an armed nuke.  He bellows for his ladz to "git a'move on!"

The Flash Gitz make way for the fearsome giant of an ork and Mob2 moves into the gap provided to the south.

Mob1 and the Tank Bustaz both move almost due east in order to range in on the tank and not get in each other's way.

The Deffdread moves closer to the center - not yet committing to one flank or the other as he's not sure which one will be weaker and need his support.

The ork counter-attack is swift and glorious:

• The Big Mek opens a portal to the warp and fires a pair of snotlings into the Terminators.  Both of the wailing grot slam into their targets and 2 of the space marines are down.
• The Flash Gitz spit into the dry sand and open fire into the hated Snipers.  The weapons all function well in this dry heat and melt right through the rocky cover.  5 of the Scouts are totally obliterated.
• The Tank Bustaz kiss their favorite rokkits towards the Land Raider tank and hoot joyfully when a lucky hit, right on the exhaust port, causes a chain reaction that blows the engine into smokey wreckage!  Tears are shed as they realize that they will get to have a warm mug of motor oil this day - at last!  The passengers of the tank stumble out of the flaming wreck in disarray.
• The Lobbaz see these new targets and gladly open fire upon them.  One Vanguard Veteran dies and the Chaplain takes a wound in the pounding that they suffer.

Tactical Squad3 arrives at the center position of the field and hunkers down to await targets.  They do not have to wait long...

The Terminators move like a force of nature to the southern gap to the ork's shrine - determined to verify the evil site's authenticity before the day is done.

Dazed, but undaunted, the Vanguard Veterans soar through the air and slam into the aliens of Mob1 with all manner of weapons.

Attacks this turn are as follows:

• The Snipers shoot into Mob2, but only Sergeant Immortus gets lucky.  He pegs Mega-Warboss Chainsaw right in the metal plate installed in his head and his skull rings like a bell.  "OOOooooowww!  @$%#*!"
• The Terminators unload their heavy weapons into the Flash Gitz.  3 of them die, including the gimp-legged one who can't avoid a missile due to his previous wound.  "Wot me payin' youse fer, Dok?  Git on wif it!"  The Flash Gitz all hit the dirt to avoid being slaughtered - they will be pinned during their next turn.
• Tactical Squad1 shoots from inside the bunker at Mob1, but fail to take out any of the ladz.
• The Vanguard Veterans kill two orks before they touch the ground (one of them quite messily with an explosive-tipped acid round, courtesy of the Chaplain).  Once they land in the midst of the okrs, the real slaughter begins.  A whopping 17 orks are ripped to shreds by the skilled assault troopers and only 3 of their own number fall.  The fearless orks refuse to flee, but are greatly reduced in number.

The Kommandoz arrive from reserve and when the Warboss sees them, he knows that it's time...

"WAAAGH!!!"

The Tank Bustaz and Deffdread move to clear the rock wall on the north flank.

The Kommandoz charge into the Snipers.  Mob2 hurtles into the Terminators.  And the pitiful remnants of Mob1 re-double their efforts to finish off their wily foes.

What will the results of the mindless ork aggression be?  Read it and weep:

• The Big Mek sees a slim opening to pick off another Terminator with a runty snotling.  He pulls the trigger and a snotling appears inside the man's armor.  He falls to the sand writhing in agony.
• The Lobbaz open up on Tactical Squad3, but only manage to take one of the space marines out.
• The Kommandoz totally own the Snipers - they lose nary a single lad and spend a great deal of time hacking and chopping the humans into small chunks in their frenzy to "tenderize da meaty bitz fer later".
• Mega-Warboss Chainsaw leads the charge of Mob2 into the Terminators.  The greenskins hit the space marines like a runaway mag-train - none of the 7 space marines in the unit make it out of the impact alive.  The Warboss takes a wound, but he doesn't care - the glory of battle masks the pain!
• Mob1 sees the awesome valor of their fellows and resolve to not be outdone!  2 of the ladz die, but so do the remainder of the Vanguard Veterans.  "Datz t'ree fur t'ree!  Hat trick!  Bwah-ha-ha!"

Antonidus Aurelius knows that he lacks the men to get to the ork shrine now.  The only thing he can do is stop the wicked aliens from getting their unclean hands on the holy weapon of cleansing.  To this end, he circles around Mob2 and then assaults them - forcing them to move away from their objective.

Tactical Squad4 moves up from behind the objective, so they can be of better use tactically in the defense.

The sounds of battle roar this turn:

• Tactical Squads 1 & 2 shoot at Mob1.  One lad dies and the nob takes a wound.
• Tactical Squad3 and the Chapter Master open fire on Mob2.  A total of 5 orks die.
• Then the Chapter Master attacks!  He slays 4 more of the orks, but is grievously wounded twice himself.

The awful scream of the WAAAGH is beginning to fade - before the power leaves them, most of the orks run at full speed towards their goal.

Only those who are locked in battle or who don't want to get any closer to the humans remain where they are.

A few more attacks are carried out:

• The Big Mek fires at Tactical Squad3.  A hail of snotling body parts exit the warp dripping plasma and molten rock.  The speeding chunks of heat rip through two of the space marines.
• The Lobbaz also fire at Tactical Squad3, but all of their shells scatter to bang off of the hard shell of the nearby bunker instead.
• Mob2 and the Warboss lose another two ladz, but they pound the Chapter Master down into the sands until he stops fighting back.

Tactical Squad4 moves away from the objective entirely, hoping to create enough space between it and the orks to slow them down, while the forces of Tactical Squad2 can fall back to reclaim the objective next turn.

Will this gamble pay off?

The report of boltguns roll across the field:

• Tactical Squad 2 opens up with the heavy bolter and waste 4 of the orks in Mob1.  The nob calls out: "This way... lad?"  Yes, with only two of them left it's a sad story, and not one that will be turned into a children's book anytime soon.  (A Nob and his Lad?  No.  Just No.)
• Tactical Squads 1 & 3 rapid fire at Mob2.  4 ladz go down and even Mega-Warboss Chainsaw takes a wound.  He's really hurting now and angry about it...

The race to see which ork will have the honor of being the first to touch the space marines nuke is on!  Every lad wants to be the one to earn the right to light that baby up!  Everyone moves towards the space marine corner.

The two ork left alive from Mob1 charge at the bunker and the nob rips into what looks like a supporting beam with his power claw.

The Warboss likes this plan and he and his Mob1 climb over the fence to get within range to attack any of the enemy forces he finds there.

The horrors of battle continue:

• The Big Mek unloads a pool of boiling snotling blood onto the men of Tactical Squad2 - 3 of the humans do not survive this hideous onslaught.
• The Flash Gitz shoot at Tactical Squad3 and a space marine goes down minus a leg.
• The Tank Bustaz take a moment from their busy schedule of picking up tank scraps for souvenirs to fire off a hail of rokkits at the bunker.  Despite 2 glancing hits and a penetrating one, the bunker stays up.
• The nob of Mob2 snips something important to the bunker's structural integrity and they building collapses in a awful din of rending metal.  Tactical Squad1 is forced to evacuate the building.  Right next to Mega-Warboss Chainsaw...
• "Hello, ladiez..."  Mob2 hits the stunned marines of Tactical Squad1 before they know it.  3 boyz die, but the entire squad is cut down.

Tactical Squads 2 moves to secure the objective in the hopes that Tactical Squad4 will hold off the ork long enough to win the game.

Will this strategy work?

NO!  The marines can't run fast enough to get close to the objective!

Bitterly, Tactical Saqud4 is forced to pull back in order to secure the objective again in the hopes for a tie game.

The space marines continue to fight, even as they withdraw:

• Tactical Squad4 shoots at Mob2, but they are now out of range to do any damage!
• The last survivor of Tactical Squad3 fire his weapon and bravely charges into the mass of Mob2 in a desperate effort to draw the orks away from the objective.  He is struck down to no effect for all of his bravery...  A wasted effort.

As the ork forces tighten the noose on the space marines, it is the Warboss himself who cuts through to reach the prize first.  (Le'z face it - iz anybody elze gonna' fight me fer dis?  Ha!)

The end is nigh:

• Mob2 cuts through Tactical Squad2 like a bandsaw - they consolidate within ease reach of the enemy objective, putting it out of reach of the space marines for good.

This game is over!

Chainsaw Wins!   The final score is 1 to 0.  The Tank Bustaz were the MVP of this game for just doing their job and busting that tank in round one!  This allowed the ork forces to move rapidly into the Dark Purist's corner and secure the objective.  The space marines were crushed by the relentless drive to survive the day... (and we gitz a free WMD ta use fur fun laterz!  Heh-heh-heh...)

"Lookit all dem lights!  Wotz dey all fur?  Dunno.  Oi!  A button!  Push it, 'kay?  ...  Huh.  Nuttin' happened...  Aw..."

"There's... too many of them!"