AAR: September 22, 2012 - Relic Battle

The Dark Purifiers have gained intelligence that an Orkish shrine to Mork is nearby.  Hoping to shatter the Ork's morale, they resolve to destroy this abomination.  To this end, they bring a relic of their own chapter - a huge glittering gem which is in reality a molycirc holo-projector/recorder -- a powerful and irreplaceable artifact from the lost age of dark technology.  The device will record this battle for the records of their chapter.  But will it record a magnificent victory or a humbling defeat?  We shall soon see!

Capture and Control - Long Edges.

5x6 table. A large hill is in the center, split eons ago by a volcanic upheaval.  There are only a few ways to get from one side of the hill to the other.  Rocky protuberances are everywhere, but there is not much in the way of vegetation - only grass and lichen.

Orks versus Space Marines with 1736 point limit.

Chainsawz Ladz: 
HQ - Warboss
HQ - Ol' Boomy 
Elites - 15x Kommandoz with Boss Blackgutz (2x Burna)
Elites - 15x Kommandoz (Nob with power claw, 2x Rokkit)
Troops - 12x Boyz (Nob with power claw, Rokkit)
Troops - 12x Boyz (Nob with power claw, Rokkit)
Troops - 12x Boyz (Nob, Rokkit)
Troops - 12x Boyz (Nob, Rokkit)
Troops - 12x Boyz (Nob, Rokkit)
Troops - 17x Gretchin (Runtherd with grot-prod)
Fast Attack - 3x Deffkopptas (Twin-linked rokkits)
Heavy Support - 3x Lobba gunz (6x Extra crew, Runtherd, 3x Ammo runts)
Heavy Support - Deff Dread (2x Kustom mega-blasta)

"Dat shiny is gonna be Morks!"

Dark Purifiers
HQ - Captain
HQ - Chapter Master
Elites - Dreadnought (Power fist, Multi-melta)
Elites - 10x Terminators (2x Cyclone missile launchers, 2x Chain-fists, Power fists)
Troops - 10x Tactical Marines (Flamer, Missile launcher)
Troops - 10x Tactical Marines (Melta, Heavy bolter)
Troops - 6x Sniper Scouts with Sgt. Immortus (Missile launcher)
Heavy Support -Land Raider Redeemer (Multi-metla)


"I love the smell of promethium in the morning.  Smells like... victory."

The dubious blessing of Mork's favor falls on the Orks as Chainsaw wins the initial die roll!

He selects the red long edge and Dark Purist is forced to accept the blue side.

Chainsaw tries a new tactic in this battle.  He splits his forces into many smaller squads to see if the tactical situation will be improved.  He also recruits another group of kommandoz in an attempt to get his forces to cover the board.

Three small mobs of boyz take the north of the field.  The deffdread and deffkoptas are in the center with another small mob of boyz on their flank.

The lobbaz cower like the grot they are behind the southern rocks.  Some kommandoz take position on the top of the hill.

With Boss Blackgutz, a small mob of boyz, and a large gaggle of gretchin held in reserve, Warboss Chainsaw calls his forces ready for action!

The shrine to Mork thrums with an unholy power.  The orks who are tasked with it's protection feel the power of cunning brutality radiating from the unhallowed stone!

The Dark Purifiers have rolled out their recently arrived Land Raider to hold the north of the field.  It is watched by the fearsome squad of terminators with the captain and chapter master in formation.

Tactical marines in squads 1, 2, and 3 hold and protect the center.

The dreadnought and tactical squad 4 are at the south end of the battlefield.

The snipers find cover at the top of the opposite hill from the ork kommandoz and take careful aim at the hated xenos.

"The blessed device is recording, brothers!  Set a grand example of what it means to serve the Emperor for all those who will follow in our glorious footsteps!"

And so it begins...

The mobz of boys that aren't guarding the shrine all move towards the humans at a run.

Those that do not run, position themselves to attack and then unleash a hail of hasty, loud, and quite inaccurate fire...

Attacks are as follows:

• The deffkoptas shoot their rokkits at the snipers and manage to kill one of them.
• The deffdread shoots at the terminator squad with its powerful kustom mega-blastas, but misses completely.
• The lobbaz bombard the snipers and kill one of them, pinning the rest.
• The kommandoz shoot at tactical squad 1 with their rokkits, but fail to hit anything.

Tactical squad 4 runs towards the lobbaz as the dreadnought moves up the hillside.

The land raider cruises to the middle of the map while the terminators move towards the mobs coming around the hill.

Tactical squad 2 moves so they can stand on top of the rock bridge, giving them an excellent field of fire.

The marines open fire:

• The dreadnought and tactical squad 2 open fire at the polluting deffkoptas.  Two of the offensive machines come crashing out of the sky.
• Tactical squads 1 and 3 shoot their heavy weapons at the kommandoz.  3 of the camouflaged orks die.
• The terminators unleash their fearsome weapons into mob2 and 8 boyz are splattered all over the hillside!

Mob2 is looking a bit lonely - the warboss joins mob1 while Ol' Boomy joins the kommandoz.

The pitiful remnants of mob2 takes a position on the crest of the north hill.

Mobs 1, 3, and 5 all move towards the marines that stand between them and the shiny 'no wotz that they lust after.

The deffdread positions itself to shoot through the cave at the tank.

The sole surviving deffkopta buzzes over the top of the dreadnought and swings its rokkits at the vulnerable bits on the walker's rear, with a savage and wild yell from the pilot.

Boss Blackgutz arrives from an unexpected quarter!  They leap behind tactical squad 4 and make menacing noises...

The grim results of ork combat:

• Mob1 and the deffdread shoot their heavy weapons at the land raider tank, but they all miss.
• The merger orks in mob2 shoot at tactical squad1 and also miss.
• The deffkopta rokkits miss completely as the wild-eyed pilot muffs his one chance at glory.
• The kommandoz shoot at the snipers, but every slug is a miss.  The orkish 'marksmanship' is stunning in it's suckyness!
• The lobbaz pound the snipers, killing a sniper and a marine from tactical squad2 who was too close.  None of the marines are pinned by the attack, however.
• Boss Blackgutz and his ladz rips through tactical squad 4 in a spray of crimson.  None of the space marines survive their brutal attack.

Most of the marines are in the exact position they want to be in and do not deign to move.

The terminators charge into mob1.

The dreadnought moves swiftly to avenge the fallen battle-brothers in tactical squad 4.

The land raider moves as close as it can to the cave entrance where it has a clear line of fire to the grinding deffdread.

The marines counterattack with the righteous fury of the Emperor:

• Tactical squad 3 fires a krak missile at the last deffkopta and blows it out of the sky.
• Tactical squads 1 and 2 join their firepower to that of the snipers who all blaze away at mob4.  The orks prove quite resilient to the attack as only two boyz die.  Sgt. Immortus puts a huge hole in the nob, but somehow the beast stays on its feet.
• The land raider shoots the deffdread with it's melta and blows the clanking horror into greasy scraps.  The assault cannon also speaks to the kommandoz above it, wasting 2 of them.
• The chapter master communicates via the vox to an orbiting spacecraft and a bombardment of epic proportions falls on the hapless heads of the lobbz!  All of the kannonz are wrecked or explode and three of their crew are vaporized by the kinetic blast!
• The dreadnought hits Boss Balckgutz men with his weapons and his power claw.  A total of 4 orkz die.
• The terminators pour their weapon fire into mob1 and eradicate all of the orks.  The warboss also is wounded and looks around in anger as he sees that he is leading a squad of corpses.  He does not have long to stew about it, as the terminators swarm him and pummel him to death.  He only manages to take a single terminator down with him as his indignant cries turn into mewling gurgles.

Hoping to stem the tide of bad luck, the orks unleash the power of the WAAAGH!

All of the ork mobs rush towards their foes in an attempt to prove that they are the "tuffiz one" and should lead the rest of this warband.

Some gretchin arrive from reserves to watch after the shrine.

Orkish assaults this turn:

• With an unearthly howl, Ol' Boomy points a finger at the space marine captain.  For a brief moment, nothing happens as the two heroes pit their willpower against each other - then the captain falls to the ground with a gasp of pain!  Before the horrified eyes of his men, the captain is polymorphed into a huge pink swine!  Ol' Boomy does a little jig in his fiendish delight at having afflicted his enemy with such a fearsome curse.
• Mob2 and the kommandoz shoot at the terminator squad.  The only result is that the captain/pig is knocked out due to the blast of a concussive rokkit.
• Boss Blackgutz and his men try to take down the dreadnought to no avail.
• Mob 4 tangles with the snipers, but neither side can get enough soldiers into the fight to damage the other.
• Mob 3 slam into the terminators with high hopes, but they are quickly dashed.  The terminator sergeant is taken down, but at the cost of ALL the rest of the orks!  Owch!
• Mob 2 tries to stop the relentless terminator marines and are brutalized into the blood-soaked grass for their insolence!  Double owch!!
• The kommandoz also try to stop the terminators and they do manage to kill one of them, but them the rest of the marines rip them to chunks in revenge.  All of them are wiped out!  This is horrible for the orks!  Triple owch!!!

Seeing that the vast majority of the ork force is now broken and bleeding on the ground, the space marine forces grimly move to finish their day's work.

Tactical squads 1 and 3 move back to create some strategic depth as the land raider tank moves to cover their retreat.

Tactical squad 2 moves to support the terminators.

The horror the greenskins must surely feel continues:

• The terminators charge into mob5 with all their weapons blazing.  6 of the orkz are cut down before they close, then a single terminator falls, but then vindication!  All of mob5 is wiped out, their bodies tossed onto the moldering piles of xeno-trash already reaped by the valiant of the Emperor.
• The dreadnought also finishes his bloody work by ripping apart the remainder of Boss Blackgutz force.
• The snipers are not nearly as adept at close quarters combat and manage to hold even with mob 4.  Two orkz die as do a pair of snipers.

The orks seem to be punch drunk at the stunning defeats they have suffered - one after the other.

Wild with religious fervor, the gretchin guarding the shrine to Mork foolishly charge into the blood-splattered terminators.

The lobba crew are ruthlessly driven to form a meat-shield between the shrine and the dreadnought by the gunz runtherd.

The pitiful results of combat this turn:

• The gretchin fire their rusty blastas at the terminator armor, but it's an insult to think that they did any damage.  When they slam into close-combat range, they wish that they hadn't - they are thrown around like little, ugly, and fragile dolls.  There are no survivors from the results of their pious assault...
• The combat between the snipers and mob4 is finally resolves at the last sniper falls, his knife killing his own murderer as he dies.

"Time to finish this, men!"

The dreadnought gladly moves to intercept the lobba crew, while the terminators secure the evil shrine to the orkish demon, Mork.

"Rig that abomonation for demolition, brothers."

"Right away, sir!"

All other space marines train their weapons on Mob 4, who foolishly crest the rock pile to stare into a thicket of widely-gaping boltgun bores...

"Duh... Oppz!?"

I can barely stand to report the following:

• The dreadnought stomps the lobba crew into the ground, taking great care to insure that not one of them survives to flee.
• The land raider uses it's heavy flamer and 3 orkz do the burny dance!
• Tactical squads 1, 2, and 3 rapid fire their boltguns and rip a series of new orifices into each of the aliens who dared to resist their well-earned eradication.  The nob is the last to die, his torso a charred hole courtesy of a melta blast at point-blank range.

As the last ork dies, a silence settles over the battlefield.  The game is called on account of sudden, violent death for all of Chainsaw's forces! 

Dark Purist Wins!  Chainsaw's nifty new tactic blew up right in his face!  The tank could not be resisted!  The glory of this battle will be reviewed for millennia-to-come by future initiates!

"Although our captain may be an injured swine, there is hope that the chapter librarian will know of a cure!  (Otherwise there's always 'The Bacon Solution'...)"

"Why does Mork abandon us in da hour of da biggezt needz?  WHY?!?!?!  Itz so BRUTAL!  ...  Oh.  Datz why."